Learning to Say No

I have a confession.

I love Oprah.

I am in the cult of Oprah.

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Well one of the things that Oprah has said time and time again is to put yourself first. I am sure she is mostly referring to hectic moms who need to get in some desperately needed “me” time, but I am applying it to myself anyway as I have found I have trouble saying no.

Random Person: “Will you go to my 50 dollar play?”

Me: “Yes, even though I have no interest in it and can’t afford it.”

Random Person: “Will you take a 2 hour train ride to have a 10 minute cup of coffee with me?

Me: Yes, even though I barely know you and do not want to hear about your trip to Guam.

Now, of course, if it were a very good friend or family member I would happily do these things. No questions. But I say yes to people I barely know or like, just because I don’t want to hurt their feelings and therefore not have them like me anymore. I know it’s sad. I want people to like me. I want people to think I am the most charming person in the room. I want people to say, ” There goes Cici. She’s such a nice person.”

Trust me, I know it’s sad.

But from now one, if I don’t want to go and I see no other reason besides wanting to be liked I am going to say no. If they ask why I am going to give them an honest answer.

Here’s to a stronger me.

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