“All she does is nag, nag, nag.” These are words I never want Mr. G to say, but now that wedding is approaching it’s time to get all of the big and little wedding projects done. I don’t know about you and your fiance/fiancee, but sometimes getting Mr. G to do a wedding related project, like compiling our invitation suite or choosing a song for the cake cutting, is like pulling teeth. Understandably, when he finally gets a day off (he works a lot of six- day work weeks) he would much rather sit back and watch an episode of The League than go over the our guest list RSVPs. I’ve tried to take on the majority of the tasks myself, but there are somethings that he has to do on his own, like buy his wedding shoes, or some projects that I need two pairs of hands to complete. Sometimes, when I start to talk about the wedding or a wedding project, he gets a look on his face that equals “Oh no, not now.” I can understand where he is coming from, but I can’t help but feel frustrated. I’ve done my best to avoid fighting during our wedding planning so I’ve been trying to find ways to make the wedding- project- execution process easier for both of us.
The first thing I tried to do was make a schedule for all of our major wedding projects. I scheduled days for projects like making our slideshow and for picking up parent gifts. I figured that if there was a schedule we would both be aware of what needed to get done, we could both mentally prepare for the project, and know what was expected of us. This worked pretty well when our schedules were normal and predictable, but the system soon fell apart when our schedules got crazy and it became difficult to rearrange them and plan when both of us would be free.
The To -Do List
Once the schedule system fell apart, I decided to make a to-do list of tasks Mr. G could complete on his own time by a set date. This worked well for him, but not for me. I’m the type of person who gets everything done early and as fast as I can. Mr. G is the type of guy who waits not until the last minute, but more like the second to last minute. This is fine because he gets things done with some time to spare, but I would look at the list sitting on our fridge with nothing getting crossed off and just seethe. I got upset a few times, and there were a few fights, but in the end I learned to be patient and Mr. G got all of his tasks done in plenty of time.
Being Super Excited
“Hey Mr. G! We’re going to wrap twine around 80 wedding invitations! Yippee!!” Trying to be super excited about our projects didn’t even come close to working. Mr. G just looked at me like I was insane. I even tried to make some of our projects fun. “Let’s see who can wrap and package the most centerpieces in 30 minutes!” Nope, Mr. G was not in for that either. Instead of trying to make it fun I ended up just putting a TV show he liked on in the background and that worked just fine.
I told Mr. G that if there was ever a time when he didn’t want to talk about or do anything wedding related, he could just say so and we could drop it and pick it up another time. Mr. G has done this about twice and even though it sometimes frustrated me, I’m glad he has. I’d rather work with someone who is happy rather than someone who is miserable.
Getting Mr. G to do wedding projects hasn’t been easy and there are times when I know he would much rather be playing video games, but we have slowly, but surely gotten through the bulk of our wedding projects with minimal fighting.
How have you gotten your fiance/ fiancee to participate in wedding projects when they are unwilling? What has worked for you and what hasn’t ?